Cats Can Read From Their Butt and Other Bits Of Info You Need

1. If you sit at a table with an open newspaper, book or magazine and you are owned by a cat, said cat will sit on the item you are reading. This is how they read. Just thought you should know.

2. If your preschool child suddenly starts eating twice his body weight in one day, just drop everything and go clothes shopping. He is going through a growth spurt and will be wearing the next size up very soon. Like maybe tomorrow.

3. If you think you are being smart and go ahead and buy the next size up while the stores are having a terrific sale, the child will then automatically skip that size and go to the next one. Thus leaving you with 27 items (undergarments included) that will never be worn.

4. If everyone in the house is going through a certain food phase, lets say, cucumbers, and you didn't buy enough for everyone to have 6 each that day, gasp! They (the children/teenagers) will act as if you have comitted some sort of unforgivable sin and the preschool child upon realizing there are no more cucumbers will imediatly drop writhing and flailing about on the floor as if he is a heroin addict.

5. The check out gals at Walmart look really funny when I buy 12 huge cucumbers at a time.........

6. If you have a large dog, and the dog is a sweet and loving dog, you must keep a hand towel close by in case said dog suddenly feels grateful that you saved him and gives you numerous "kisses" on your face. There is the possibility that you could very well drown if immediate wiping does not occur.

7. The cat stays mad all day long if the large dog "kisses" her. It musses her fur you know...

8. Dusting is from Satan. IT IS NEVER DONE!!!! As soon as you finish, you just have to do it again. I just try to accept that it is nature's way of placing a protective coating on my furniture.

9. Laundry with three boys is from Satan. IT IS NEVER DONE!!!.......

10. If you try really hard to think of all the funny things going on in your own home, it really helps get you out of your blue mood. Helps you pull yourself up by the old boot straps as it were.............what are boot straps? Do I have any?