Explaination.....

Some of you extra perceptive folk have noticed that I have not been entirely myself.....
You are correct. A while back, I went off my medicine (stupid) for clinical depression. I was diagnosed with CD about 20 years ago or so. Since that time I have been on and off different types of antidepressants. Some worked well, some.....not so much. Anyway, I started having symptoms a month or so ago and just chalked them up to other things. I was tired all the time - my reasoning, who wouldn't be tired with a very active 5 year old that doesn't sleep well? I wasn't sleeping well - my reasoning, it's just a symptom of menopause...no big deal.
You get the idea.
Then last week all my cute little symptoms gathered together to make me a big huge blubbering mess and *ding*, the light bulb went on. I knew I needed to get back on meds, and quick.
I saw my doc this morning (a quick shout out to mom and pops for staying with the boy so I could have some private time at my appt.....thanks a bunch!). She said that menopause and depression don't play well together and that is probably why it hit me so hard and quick this time. Anyway, I will be starting meds tonight and feeling better in no time. Until then, if you see me crying, or acting very stressed, or sitting in a corner sucking my thumb, pay me no mind....it will all be ok very soon!
OK. I take back the part about seeing me in the corner sucking my thumb....if you see that, get help! Thanks.

For those that may not really understand what this lovely illness is all about, I have included the possible symptoms. If you or someone you love has a lot of these symptoms or if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, please seek medical attention.
******note******If you are a parent of a teenager and sometimes want to wring their neck, probably this is not a sign of depression, just a sign that you are a parent of a teenager. However, if you find yourself actually reaching for their neck, STOP and get help.

Just FYI, the following symptoms that are in green are those I typically get. Yippee!

Clinical depression can present with a variety of symptoms, but almost all patients display a marked change in mood, a deep feeling of sadness, and a noticeable loss of interest or pleasure in favorite activities.
Other symptoms include:
Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood
Loss of appetite and/or weight loss or conversely overeating and weight gain
Insomnia, early morning awakening, or oversleeping
Restlessness or irritability (my family REALLY enjoys this one)
Psychomotor agitation or psychomotor retardation
Feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt, helplessness
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Difficulty thinking, concentrating, remembering or making decisions (I usually get an extra dose of this one....it's one of my favorites!)***the previous statement is to be said dripping with snarky sarcasm***
Thoughts of death or suicide or attempts at suicide (I credit and thank God that I do not have this symptom. Because of His love, I always feel His comfort and I KNOW things will be ok.)
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed
Withdrawal from social situations, family and friends (I work REALLY hard not to do this. It's very tiring)
Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down" or sluggish (Didn't I just admit in my last post that I was in a fog? Didn't I say I felt like I was running in mud? Didn't I?????)
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive problems, and chronic pain
Decrease/Feeling in motor-speed (time seems to slow down) (Normally, I am late just every once in a while but I have been late to almost EVERY function in the last month, including church last Sunday! ARRRRRGGGGG)
Not all patients will suffer from every symptom. The severity of symptoms will vary widely among individuals. Symptoms must, however, persist for at least two weeks before being considered a potential sign of depression, with the exception of suicidal thoughts or attempts.[3][1]

If you also have this illness and need to talk to someone that understands, just shoot me an email and I will get in touch with you ASAP. Please know that you are not alone.........