Feelin' Better and getting my twisted sense of humor back.....

Yes. My medication is beginning to work. The depression is starting to lift and other than a brand new scratchy throat and congestion, (not connected to the depression) I feel much better. I'm not all the way there by any means, but much better. Thanks for all your prayers and good thoughts. I appreciate them more than you will ever know.

One thing that I have noticed is that my sense of humor is getting back to it's twisted self. I am beginning to laugh much easier and it is for real, not forced. For instance, I was cleaning out my emails today and came across this cartoon:

Yes, I know Easter is over, but this has always made me giggle and today, it made me laugh out loud. So. What part of the chocolate bunny do you eat first?

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I am loved so much that it just might hurt.....

While talking to my folks today at lunch, my mom said (quite sternly and using her mom voice) "DO NOT GO OFF YOUR MEDICINE AGAIN."
I then told her about the comment that my friend at Well Mannered Frivolity made after my last post:

"First off I want to give you a cyber hug and tell you that I love you and that I will be praying for you. Now for the mean part-If you ever decide to go off you meds again please let me know so I can thunk you on the forehead. :)"

My sweet mother then said....."Tell her she will have to stand in line to thunk you...and the line will be long"

Kinda makes me feel all mushy and gooey inside. My family and friends just oooooze love, don't they!

It will take a few more days for me to start feeling the affects of the medication but I am feeling a little better just knowing that I will start feeling better soon. Thanks for all your messages of love and friendship, your phone calls, and your prayers. I am just plain blessed.....

Explaination.....

Some of you extra perceptive folk have noticed that I have not been entirely myself.....
You are correct. A while back, I went off my medicine (stupid) for clinical depression. I was diagnosed with CD about 20 years ago or so. Since that time I have been on and off different types of antidepressants. Some worked well, some.....not so much. Anyway, I started having symptoms a month or so ago and just chalked them up to other things. I was tired all the time - my reasoning, who wouldn't be tired with a very active 5 year old that doesn't sleep well? I wasn't sleeping well - my reasoning, it's just a symptom of menopause...no big deal.
You get the idea.
Then last week all my cute little symptoms gathered together to make me a big huge blubbering mess and *ding*, the light bulb went on. I knew I needed to get back on meds, and quick.
I saw my doc this morning (a quick shout out to mom and pops for staying with the boy so I could have some private time at my appt.....thanks a bunch!). She said that menopause and depression don't play well together and that is probably why it hit me so hard and quick this time. Anyway, I will be starting meds tonight and feeling better in no time. Until then, if you see me crying, or acting very stressed, or sitting in a corner sucking my thumb, pay me no mind....it will all be ok very soon!
OK. I take back the part about seeing me in the corner sucking my thumb....if you see that, get help! Thanks.

For those that may not really understand what this lovely illness is all about, I have included the possible symptoms. If you or someone you love has a lot of these symptoms or if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, please seek medical attention.
******note******If you are a parent of a teenager and sometimes want to wring their neck, probably this is not a sign of depression, just a sign that you are a parent of a teenager. However, if you find yourself actually reaching for their neck, STOP and get help.

Just FYI, the following symptoms that are in green are those I typically get. Yippee!

Clinical depression can present with a variety of symptoms, but almost all patients display a marked change in mood, a deep feeling of sadness, and a noticeable loss of interest or pleasure in favorite activities.
Other symptoms include:
Persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood
Loss of appetite and/or weight loss or conversely overeating and weight gain
Insomnia, early morning awakening, or oversleeping
Restlessness or irritability (my family REALLY enjoys this one)
Psychomotor agitation or psychomotor retardation
Feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt, helplessness
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Difficulty thinking, concentrating, remembering or making decisions (I usually get an extra dose of this one....it's one of my favorites!)***the previous statement is to be said dripping with snarky sarcasm***
Thoughts of death or suicide or attempts at suicide (I credit and thank God that I do not have this symptom. Because of His love, I always feel His comfort and I KNOW things will be ok.)
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed
Withdrawal from social situations, family and friends (I work REALLY hard not to do this. It's very tiring)
Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down" or sluggish (Didn't I just admit in my last post that I was in a fog? Didn't I say I felt like I was running in mud? Didn't I?????)
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive problems, and chronic pain
Decrease/Feeling in motor-speed (time seems to slow down) (Normally, I am late just every once in a while but I have been late to almost EVERY function in the last month, including church last Sunday! ARRRRRGGGGG)
Not all patients will suffer from every symptom. The severity of symptoms will vary widely among individuals. Symptoms must, however, persist for at least two weeks before being considered a potential sign of depression, with the exception of suicidal thoughts or attempts.[3][1]

If you also have this illness and need to talk to someone that understands, just shoot me an email and I will get in touch with you ASAP. Please know that you are not alone.........